SLARVATHOffice of Off-World Correspondence

How he is drawn by people who have met him

Depictions

Nine children's paintings of a purple spined creature taped inside a classroom window, seen from the street
Medium — tempera

Nine of me in a window

Grade two. Taped inside the window, seen from the sidewalk.

I walked past and there were nine.

Each one has decided something different about me. In three of them I am purple. In one I am holding something that may be a cup and may be a very small building. In two I have been given a friend, which nobody asked them to do.

Not one of them is afraid.

Office annotationNine depictions, school premises, displayed publicly. No two are consistent with one another. The Office declines to identify which if any is correct.
A child's chalk drawing of a large round creature with a long snout and a crown of spines, on a sidewalk scattered with leaves
Medium — chalk

Somebody drew me on the ground

Unattributed. Pavement, corner of Third and Reed.

It was still there two days later, and then it rained.

The proportions are wrong in every direction and they are also, somehow, more correct than any photograph anybody has taken of me. The snout is too long. The eyes are enormous. The spines have been given points, which they do not have.

I have got the proportions wrong my whole life and a child fixed them in about a minute.

Office annotationUnattributed depiction, pavement, impermanent medium. The likeness is not accurate. The Office has retained the photograph.