SLARVATHOffice of Off-World Correspondence

missed connections › you were watching the produce mistersposted Wed 6:12 PM · reply · flag
SLV-0153

You Were Watching the Misters

You: enormous. And I mean that respectfully. Six foot something, maybe more, I'm bad at this. Yellow and blue jacket. The best hair I have ever seen on a person, and I want to say it changed colour when I said hi? Like it went sort of coral. If that's a product please tell me what it is.

You weren't picking anything up. You were watching the sprinklers come on over the lettuce, watching the mist land on the damp — wet, even — romaine, with a look on your face like it was the best thing that had happened to you all week. And honestly, same.

Me: guy behind you holding a rotisserie chicken. Cargo shorts. You wouldn't have noticed me, I was blocking the bagged salad for about four minutes.

I don't know what you're into. But if you're ever back around that time, I'm out of work at 5:30 and I am extremely flexible about lettuce.

Also, and I won't apologise for this: the bag. The neon one. No notes. Whatever you're doing, it's working.

Long shot. You'll probably never see this. Coffee?

Office annotationA printed copy of a public notice-board entry, stapled beneath the preceding document by an unknown party. The Office notes that the Correspondent was in that location on the evening described, that the change of colour reported in the first paragraph is involuntary and indicates distress rather than interest, and that the writer has misread the encounter in every particular. One tab has been removed. The Office holds it.